Phoenix Rising

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ABOUT THE PHOENIX, INSPIRATION BEHIND THIS BLOG.

The phoenix or phenix (Greek: Φοίνιξ Greek pronunciation: [ˈfiniks], Armenian: Փիւնիկ, Persian: ققنوس, Arabic: العنقاء أو طائر الفينيق, Chinese: 鳳凰 or 不死鳥, Hebrew: פניקס) is a mythical sacred firebird that can be found in the mythologies of the Arabian, Persians, Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Chinese, Indian and (according to Sanchuniathon) Phoenicians.

A phoenix is a mythical bird with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends^{[weasel words]}). It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. In some stories, the new phoenix embalms the ashes of its old self in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis (literally "sun-city" in Greek). It is said that the bird's cry is that of a beautiful song.

The Phoenix's ability to be reborn from its own ashes implies that it is

immortal, though in some stories the new Phoenix is merely the offspring of the older one. In very few stories they are able to change into people.

My close relationship with the bird that rose from the ashes started about 45 years ago, shortly before I moved from England to Canada to teach in TORONTO.  I fell of the roof of my country studio in Kintbury, Berkshire and was concussed for over 24 hours. I came back to life but have had sporadic chronic headaches ever since. the most recent has been with me since mid October, 2011, after doing three large workshops in the space of fifteen days in Minnesota, Illinois and  Ontario, Canada. My wife, Judi, had told me to cancel them, but as a long time performer I stuck to the old theater adage of ‘THE SHOW MUST GO ON!” after being sick from a viral infection for the previous four months. The three workshops were each large, with 75, 70, and 150 attendees in succession. I was totally tired out when I returned home and made my way to bed. On the way I stopped in the bathroom and sat on the edge of our old cast –iron bath. My eyes quickly closed into a deep sleep. I fell over backwards into the dry bath, hitting my head on the shower faucet and getting another concussion. As a result, the intense headaches started that have now gone on unabated for almost three months despite various attempts to shift it by any method. At the time of writing this , I have had a chronic, debilitating headache that has persisted for 15 weeks.

I had  two more workshops planned for Southern California in February 2012. Judi pleaded with me to cancel them. My doctor gave the ultimatum that I must cancel them, so I reluctantly contacted the organizers and started to feel a little relief from my killing, self-imposed pressure of doing workshops around the world. I have now decided to quit performance teaching as it just about did me in. So there will be no further workshops I was hoping to make 200 that would have put me at 75 years of age, if I could make it that far. I have done 189 workshops in England, Australia, New Zealand, China, Japan, Korea, Israel and I43 states of the United States. People seem to like my workshops and  I am deeply sorry to cut them from my life. They have been fun, given the actor part of me an opportunity for a terrific audience, given me the opportunity to travel and induldment in visiting museums, something I started at age eight, and provided a significant source of income at the same time

 On December 16^th, the anniversary of my favorite composer Beethoven’s birth. BEETHOVEN was a chronic sufferer of various health problems, I had an amazing CATHARSIS that I can only call a miracle or DEEP RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. As a life-long agnostic this was strange indeed. Unlike atheists, or anti GOD people, agnostics always leave the door slightly open to belief in a higher power. The light that came through the door immediately started the healing process. With my renewed energy and more available time, I plan to do a daily blog. I currently have over 30 diverse topic folders for its content.  Tomorrow I will tell you what they are.

SOME THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS ON CHANGE.

I HAVE JUST GONE THROUGH THE MOST AMAZING SEQUENCE OF EVENTS, WHICH, ALTHOUGH CERTAINLY NOT FRAUDULENT, FEEL UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE. I FEEL THAT I MUST EXPLAIN TO ALL THOSE FRIENDS WHO CARE.

·      ALTHOUGH THE YEAR STARTED VERY POSITIVELY WITH AN ARTICLE ON CERAMIC SUBSTRATES FOR CERAMICS MONTHLY, EXCITING NEW DIRECTIONS IN WORK AND THE CLOSING LECTURE  FOR NCECA, FOR THE MOST PART IT HAS BEEN A DOWNHILL SPIRAL WITH STRANGE ONGOING AND UNRESOLVED HEALTH PROBLEMS. THEY STARTED WITH PICKING UP A NASTY BUG IN FLORIDA AROUND THE TIME OF NCECA AND BEING WAYLAID FOR MOST OF THE YEAR, BECOMING WEAKER AS TIME WENT ON. I’VE BEEN DOING SPORADIC TEACHING THE WHOLE TIME. AFTER MONTHS OF INCONCLUSIVE TESTS MY DOCTOR FINALLY DIAGNOSED THE PROBLEMS AS TOTAL PHYSICAL AND MENTAL EXHAUSTION, OR BURNOUT, AND ORDERED MAXIMUM REST AS THE ANSWER TO REJUVENATION. BLOOD AND EKG TESTS OF THE PAST WEEK MAKE IT NECESSARY FOR ME TO UNDERGO GERIATRIC ASSESSMENT AFTER ANOTHER ROUND OF TESTS. SOUNDS OMINOUS FOR SURE! IT SHOULD TELL ME IF I’M REALLY NUTS OR NOT.

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·       THIS WILL TAKE PLACE SOMETIME EARLY IN 2012. SERIOUS MEMORY LOSS AND GRADUAL LOSS OF MOTOR SKILLS, TREMORS AND SHAKES SEEM TO BE AT THE ROOT OF ALL THIS. PHYSICALLY, I DON’T FEEL TOO BAD, BUT THE COMBINED QUESTIONS OF WHERE WE GO FROM HERE AND A TIMELINE HOVER LIKE A GREY SPECTER.  IN TWO WEEKS I SHOULD KNOW A LOT MORE, SO IT WILL BE A LONG, SLOW  CLOSE TO A VERY WEIRD YEAR.

I DECIDED THAT I HAD NO OPTION BUT TO CANCEL TWO WORKSHOPS. SLATED FOR SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA IN FEBRUARY 2012. WITHIN AN HOUR I STARTED TO RECEIVE MESSAGES WISHING ME WELL. THIS LED TO A PHONE CALL FROM AN OLD FRIEND/POTTER/EDUCATOR/BOOKSELLER, WHO HAD BEEN ASKED IF HE COULD FILL IN FOR ME. IT WAS THE MORNING WHEN NEWS CAME THROUGH OF THE UNTIMELY DEATH OF MY VERY GOOD FRIEND, MALCOLM DAVIS, WHO I HAVE MENTORED FOR MANY YEARS.. I KNEW I WAS FRAGILE BUT I HAD NO IDEA JUST HOW FRAGILE.

IN MY WEAKENED EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE, I JUST BROKE DOWN UNCONTROLLABLY. MY OTHER FRIEND PUT OUT THE WORD THAT I NEEDED HELP AND GOOD THOUGHTS AT THIS TIME.  WITHIN A MATTER OF MINUTES, I STARTED TO RECEIVE AMAZING MESSAGES OF LOVE AND GOODWILL FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, MAINLY FROM  PEOPLE WHO I DON’T RECALL MEETING, BUT OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN TOUCHED IN SOME VISCERAL WAY THROUGH MY WRITINGS, VIDEOS, WORK OR WORKSHOPS. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A GREAT BELIEVER IN THE POWER OF POSITIVE THOUGHT, BUT THE DEPTH OF THIS OUTPOURING TOOK ME TOTALLY BY SURPRISE.

I’M NOT THROUGH THE ORDEAL YET BY A LONG WAY AND HAVE A RECOVERY ROAD THAT WILL TAKE MUCH TIME TO HEAL. MASSIVE TESTING WILL BE HAPPENING TO REGAIN PHYSICAL CONTROL AND COGNITIVE ABILITIES. THE PROGNOSIS IS LENGTHY AS OF NOW, BUT WITHOUT THE FIRST STEP ON RECOVERY ROAD WHO KNOWS WHERE THE JOURNEY MAY LEAD.

THANKS SO MUCH TO MY WONDERFUL WIFE, JUDI, ALL MY FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES AND THOSE WHO CARE. HOPEFULLY THIS BLIP IN MY PERSONAL JOURNEY WILL BE JUST THAT, AND THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE LAST 70+ YEARS WILL CONTINUE, IF NOT TO THE EXCESSES OF THE PAST, AT LEAST TO CONTINUE TRYING IT, SEEING IT AND SETTING ONGOING GOALS FOR PERSONAL GROWTH.

I WILL TRY TO KEEP YOU INFORMED ON PROGRESS.

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THIS IS THE FIRST POST ON THE FIRST DAY OF MY NEW BLOG. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE TIME TO READ IT ON A SUNDAY AT THE BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR, 2012. I APOLOGISE FOR THE LENGTH OF THIS POSTING, BUT I HAVE A LOT TO SAY SINCE MY FIRST BRUSH WITH DEATH, ALMOST 73 YEARS AGO,  FURTHER DAILY POSTINGS WILL BE MUCH, MUCH LESS WORDY, I PROMISE.

___GRASS__________________________________________________